thinking about the divinity of Jesus

Jesus is God. Is this a problem for you? At times I have fundamentally questioned weather Jesus was God. I have a God concept framed by Isaiah 6.

In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord seated on a throne, high and exalted, and the train of his robe filled the temple. Above him were seraphs, each with six wings: With two wings they covered their faces, with two they covered their feet, and with two they were flying. And they were calling to one another:
"Holy, holy, holy is the LORD Almighty;
the whole earth is full of his glory."
At the sound of their voices the doorposts and thresholds shook and the temple was filled with smoke. "Woe to me!" I cried. "I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the LORD Almighty."

Jesus as God kind of bends my Isaiah 6 God concept out of shape. How can Almighty God be fully human, fully accessible to me, fully capable of human flaw, failure and temptation? Fully human and not succumb to flaw failure and temptation. Of course there are a host of people who have rejected the idea that Jesus is fully divine. This was the original heresy. And in the fourth century this blew into a huge debate which gave rise to the council of Nicia. At the conclusion of the debates what we the church belived about Jesus was summarized in the nicean creed. The movement that ruffled all the feathers was led by a priest by the name of Arius who basically taught that Jesus was a created being, and that while he was divine, he could not have been equal to God the Father, because as a "created being" he at some point did not exist.

This might sound a little bit "out there" and not very relevant. But I have had these questions - as have many Christian thinkers. The questions are not a problem. In fact the questions are vital. I have struggled to resolve these questions for my self by being serious about theology, and by immersing myself in scripture. And both help (for me scripture was more helpful than theology which is for the most part the "development of thought about God [theos in Greek]"

Personally I found that theology apart from the love of scripture is a doubter’s dead end. And at times I have been caught in that blind alley. However when I have immersed myself in scripture - even during times of dark doubt I have always found that faith was formed, even in my unbelief.

So... Its lent and I am thinking today about Jesus as fully God and I find myself reading in Paul’s letter to the Ephesian church. And this is what I find. For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Well, I think this morning God found me. I have the sneaking suspicion that God was looking for me way harder than I was looking for God. The longer I follow Jesus the more convinced that when he steps out of sight, it is probably because he is ducking into dark and blind alleys looking for others who name themselves Thomas.